Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Sick, again. My boss suggested I take multi-vitamins, which will surely cure of me of any malaise I might encounter in about 15 years time. If you don't hear from my for some time, or any extended period of time in fact, it means I'm actually writing in my notebook - a good thing. I've put the 2nd novel on hold to keep all shreds of sanity intact while I go through the grinding "looking for a job" machine. Still no word on Interview 2, nor on my current job situation, which is unfolding on a daily basis like some bastard cousin of "Neighbors". Brighton will soon be a landfill of redundancy casualties on this side of xmas - even the CSA is laying off loads of people. The local NHS Trusts are shedding people. Urgh. So, I'm writing stories. One at a time. All set in Brighton. Subject to be confirmed. 10 in total. I'm not particularly inspired by Brighton at the moment, even though I am enjoying my daily "bumble" (to appropriate wordage from Kesh) around the place. Oh well. Went on a life coaching session in Chichester. One of those things that I've always read about in the Insight as a WAY OF CHANGING YOUR LIFE NOW ! but never thought I'd be lucky enough to try it. As it happens, I signed up for a scheme for women working in digital media, where they offer all sorts of free training and bursaries and expenses. Super cool, if you ask me. I treked from the train station to a sort of industrial estate about 10 minutes away, where I sat in a room, sipping coffee, rambling away about all of the million and one things I had to do for my film. The eureka moment hit when the life coach asked, "So when will you know when you're finished? After the premiere? Maybe 1 or 2 festivals? What do you want? " God, what a relief. I'd inadvertantly jumped on some sort of maniac festival lane of expectations, not realising they weren't mine at all. She helped me prioritise the things I need to do, shedding the things that perhaps I may not want to do, and made a plan. I know it sounds dumb and obvious, but she nearly fell out of her chair when I presented her with all of the other plans I'd made for all of the other things I wanted to do, not including the film. "So when are you going to have the time to do all of this?" Good point. On other more important fronts, my hamster came home. I let him roam around the room on Monday night, and was too busy working to notice he'd nudged the door open and LEFT THE ROOM. I was shitting myself. I know when he's not in my room, when he's not just hiding or fallen asleep somewhere. It's like some sort of psychic link. Or rather, he's just the worst creature at playing hide and seek. Usually, if I call his name, he'll betray himself and make some sort of involuntary movement. Me, KW & Steven combed the house - nothing. I couldn't sleep that night, imagining the worse: finding him half-eaten by foxes or rats or frozen by the night chill. At about 2am, I hear scratching at my bedroom door. In fact, he just went out for last orders and came home drunk. Typical.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I had difficult sleep last night. It was a bit like being a kid again, the night before the first day of school. I'm not sure if that's a good sign, or what. I have a job interview this morning, and I was preparing yesterday, have to prepare this morning. You can never be totally prepared for these things, even though I should - by now - be an interviewing veteran. We didn't win the pub quiz last night. However, it was great fun, especially the round where the first few seconds of ten songs are played and you have to guess the artist and song title. We missed the first song by being a bit too academic. It was De La Soul's "Me Myself and I", but the clever guys of the AudioActive 2 team also knew that the start of the song was a sample; the original was by Funkadelic. Cleverness doesn't always wash with Colin, esp if it's NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER. When KW & I got home, he played both songs....close. Very close. The most shocking song start, question number 5, I thought was Metallica, when in fact it was...."Gimme GimmeGimme" by Abba??What? I won't list all of the obscure facts that will only stay in my brain for another six hours (how many time zones are in the United States? - which I would have gotten wrong). Coffee, read, think, wash, dress, reconfigure my outfit three times, then move. It's Tuesday, it's not raining, and it's actually sunny. Promising.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Follow the White Rabbit
I've broken yet another spell: the "i can't go to parties anymore because I will attract weirdos/assholes" syndrome that nearly had me in its permanent clutches. After a month of harrowing experiences, meeting some unsavoury types around the city, I was beginning to take a dim view on the city I call my home and humanity in general. Maybe it's the spooky sudden darkness of autumn, but I'd begun to see a side to life that wasn't too inspiring. It began to make me consider only talking to my friends and staying in on a Saturday night was the only way forwards. However, I managed to go to 2 parties on Saturday night and had a great time so I don't think I'll be taking up the position of a recluse any time soon. First there was a brief rainstorm, and as I left the Dorset following a drink with a friend, I stood on the corner along with a few others taking refuge from the rain and saw an amazingly vivid rainbow that swept across the sky, the pot of gold landing square on Kensington Gardens. I was in the middle of making a prolonged wish, as suggested by Chris (Lunarcy) when I fortuitously ran into Marcus & Paulo, who I haven't seen in ages. Popped round to the Pedestrian pub for a drink, headed up to Paulo's and had tea with the fantastically animated Esther, then over to Kesh's for sausage, mash, cider and wine. It was at this point that I deliberated: do I stay in and watch a film or do I go with the gang to a birthday party ? Kesh smiled sweetly - "do whatever you want". I didn't know what I wanted. A bit tired, a bit jaded...ahhh, fuck it. The birthday party turned out to be for my hairdresser's girlfriend, and the start of the evening was champagne and strawberries while dancing to a gay disco in the living room. One of the guests attempted to teach me and two others what he called the waltz, but we later agreed it was clearly something he was drunkenly making up on the spot. Very sweet. Alex & co said there was a party near Hove Lawns and after saying goodnight to Paulo & AC, we walked into the dark night along the sea front. No one knew where the party was. I pressed Alex for more details. "Um, all I know is that we have to look out for a giant white rabbit". "Are you serious?" I asked him. "Yeah," he said laughing. We all figured we'd never find this elusive white rabbit - was it a person dressed up, was it a real rabbit, or was a white rabbit a euphemism we were all too young to know about? I was thinking about "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas" when a guy passed us. "He looks like someone we'd know, someone who'd go to a white rabbit party," I pointed out. Ahead we could see a throng of people standing outside the flats at Brunswick. That had to be it. Our group was uncertain. "Maybe it's a different party," someone said, even though there were clearly a hundred people in the basement flat, dancing to techno, and loads of others spilling out. I volunteered to do a reccie and went inside. The hallway was lined with people and the living room was crammed. I found Dave. "Is this a white rabbit?" I asked him. "Yes," he said. I didn't notice then that his eyeballs were rolling back into his head. I retrieved my friends and we descended. The white rabbit was later spotted. A stuffed animal, sitting on top of the speaker behind the DJ booth. Most people were fucked, but inoffensive. The place was massive and no one seemed to know who was throwing the party. A lot of Spanish people (of course), and also a lot of Australians. Overall, there was a friendly frenetic vibe as most took to the dancefloor in the cavernous living room where the music shifted onto minimalist and then drum n bass. We left at 5am, some more drunk than others. I'd had a good night. I crashed at Kesh & Jill's, on the sofa, knowing that I'd sleep more soundly than I had in ages and that at least, miraculously, I wouldn't have a hangover. On the plus side, it was a social weekend, spending some time with old friends who've been neglected only by moi. I stayed in on Friday, watched Fame, slept loads. On the downside, I didn't get any of the writing done that I'd intended. However, I think I've planted some good seeds for this week. I started reading Le Carre's "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy", which I've been meaning to read for years, and I borrowed Sebastien Faulk's "Birdsong" off of Paulo, which he said nearly made him cry in parts. It's going to be a busy week, but I'm fairly certain I will get some writing done. Tomorrow it's the Community Base pub quiz and the AudioActive 2 posse, Team USA2* Fuck Yeah!!!!! (*united States of AudioActive), are going to win this time. On Tuesday, I have a job interview (brain: switch on), followed by a Mgt Comm meeting. A pre-meeting before the Lewes Prison visit on Wednesday. Then at least 1 story this story. Must. I feel hopeful. Donnie's on the loose, scrambling over the junk in my room, so I'd better go and find him before he gets lost in the fireplace.